I have been thinking a lot about goal setting lately, for obvious reasons. ‘Tis the season for full gyms and throwing away all the cookies in your house, right? But sometimes setting those New Year’s resolutions can be overwhelming and cause me to think about all the things I didn’t accomplish in 2022, and how many things need to be on my list for 2023.

Specifically, I’ve been thinking about the actual goal-setting part, and how to create goals that won’t fizzle out by the first week of February. 

Tip 1: Make it REALISTIC.

Throwing it back to elementary and middle school, how many times have we been told to set SMART goals? To make them specific, measurable, attainable, realistic, and timely? Far too often, I think I focus on the specific, timely, and measurable aspects and forget all about making them realistic and attainable. And I don’t mean realistic for the future or realistic for that perfect instagram influencer who you think has it all together, I mean realistic for you, right now, in this very moment and in the circumstances you are in. 

For example, the past few months have been absolutely exhausting for me. Between working 2 jobs and doing school full time, I have made absolutely no time to work out and take care of me. I can barely make it to bed at a decent time after working and homework, let alone make time to get to the gym. So when thinking of a 2023 goal, I thought maybe I could make a goal to go to a workout class daily, or try to make it to the gym for an hour or two to lift weights in the morning, or get outside and run a few miles every day. But then I stopped. Is that truly attainable for me right now? No! I can’t go from zero to a hundred or I’ll burn out quickly and stop altogether.

Burnout is the reason gyms are crowded for the first few weeks of the new year and by February attendance is back to normal. It’s the same reason moms get exhausted when they set a goal to read scriptures for an hour every night with their young toddlers or to make pinterest-worthy snacks for every meal. Is it better for me to set a goal to run 3 miles a day and reach that for the first 3 weeks of January? Or just make a goal to move my body daily in a way that works for me and consistently do that? Now, do I think it should stop there? Absolutely not. But, I think if we set progressive goals that start slow then we can slowly turn the volume up as we accomplish them. So I set a goal to walk a mile a day. Now, some days I can surely do more than that, but I need to start making a good habit of making space in my day for exercise, and then I can increase my time and intensity from there. 

So set that small goal. Pick something you can fit into your schedule right now, and once you start to love it and get into a routine, add a little more! 

Tip 2: Don’t Set “Dead Man’s” Goals

 Another example of a great goal to start with is to get up at your first alarm. If you’re like me you have about 23 alarms in your phone. One for 7:30 when I should wake up, one for 7:40 so I can hit snooze, another for 8:30 when I only have a few minutes to brush my teeth and can barely run out the door in time to make it for work, and about a dozen more in between. But what am I telling myself subconsciously every time I hit snooze? That first alarm isn’t important. 

But should the goal be to not snooze through your alarm? Sure, that wouldn’t be a bad thing to aim for, but that’s what we call a “dead man’s goal.” It’s something a dead man could do easily and forever. A dead man can easily not eat treats or not watch too much tv. So instead the goal should be something to replace that bad habit. A positive goal and a replacement is much better than a negative one (Read more about dead man’s goals here).

Tip 3: Replace Bad Habits with Simple Tasks

I recently listened to a health coach talk about breaking these bad habit cycles. The coach shared that to break a cycle you must replace it with something simple that you can easily add to the routine. For the example of snoozing your alarm, she said she recommends replacing hitting snooze with drinking a sip of water. Place a glass by your bed before going to sleep and when you really want to hit snooze, take a drink. A few other examples could be to turn the lights on (even if you are still laying in bed) rolling out of bed to pray, or even splashing water on your face. Slowly and overtime, you can train your body to want to wake up at that first alarm… especially once you delete the rest so you know you have nothing to fall back on! 

But how does this apply to spiritual and emotional goals? For me, I have realized having a schedule is so important. I need structure, and that is something that vague spiritual goals do not often provide. Being a more prayerful person is a great aspiration, but it’s not a goal that works for me. Instead I make it specific and add something tangible to it so I know it’s been completed fully. I make sure I add that it needs to be on my knees. In this way, it’s visible and my husband can keep me accountable as well. Replace scrolling social media or another small habit with pulling out the gospel library app for a few minutes.

You Can Do It!!!

So as you are setting goals for yourself this year, pick something that you know you can start now and do the whole year. Something that won’t overwhelm you. Because whatever small bite-sized goal you can start today is the one that will make you better TODAY. And that’s the goal, right? To be better today than yesterday. A new year can be exhausting to think about, so make it easier on yourself this year and cut yourself a little slack. You’re doing great!