Have you ever needed a drink of cool water? Like you’re so thirsty after exercise or being in the sun working? The water tastes so good, right? Can you tell me what it tastes like? How does water taste? It can’t really be described! We know, however, that taking that drink refills us, quenches the need we’ve had, invigorates us to keep going, or could I say replenishes us? That cool drink was exactly what your body needed! Now, think for a moment, what might your spirit need for replenishment? What could feel replenishing to your whole soul? Meditation, prayer, silence, etc. Might I suggest kissing!? I believe that taking time to playfully kiss can be replenishing as well. This kiss might go further, but the intent is to stay present in the moment as you share your mouth, lips and tongues with each other.

I think that kissing can be approached with the idea that you are drinking from each other! Replenish your heart by taking time to connect through kissing. Breathe in and relax as you open your mouths and enjoy tasting one another. Experiment with pacing, depth, and intensity. Generally starting slowly will increase awareness and enjoyment. Using your tongue can quickly intensify the experience, so go slow. Little tastes or tongue touches can gently ease into deeper tongue sucking. Open your eyes and watch your spouse’s love and arousal in his/her eyes. Eye gazing while deeply kissing intensifies meaning and connects souls. Playful kissing enhances the spark of friendship to the experience. Share an ice cube or breath mint (or whatever sounds fun to you) with each other. One spouse rolling the ice/mint in his/her mouth then passing it to the other spouse with tongues coming together with the exchange. Watch each other’s passion grow through the eyes as you playfully kiss. Spend time kissing while ever mindfully noticing the subtle changes in your body. These are messages of love. Feel that love, share that love, know that you are loved. Focus your energy to the kissing that is happening without worrying about what needs to happen next. Have an attitude of innocence, considering the deep meaning of your love rather than moving toward increasing intensity or feeling the need to do something to please your spouse. Stay in the present moment with yourself, containing the experience rather than moving toward something else.

I encourage couples to kiss for ten minutes each day…just for the enjoyment of being together, playing together, being each other’s best friend. If the kiss leads to more sexual connection, great, but there should never be pressure that it has to lead to something more. One way for married couples to enhance the pleasure of kissing is to pretend for ten minutes (or longer) that you aren’t married yet. Before marriage you were careful to keep your hands away from breasts and genitals, to be wise and save sexual expressions for marriage. Once married we often jump right in to everything that can be touched now, while forgetting the anticipatory waiting before marriage make-out sessions. Go back! Imagine that you’re still single while playfully kissing. This simple mindset can electrify the kissing experience. By keeping the “forbidden” aspects of physical contact before marriage “forbidden” momentarily after marriage in simple (never manipulative), frisky, and fun-loving ways, exuberance returns to our kissing. Try it and see what happens! Expanding the length of time you choose to refrain from having full sexual contact will add a depth of flirty, orgasmic, anticipatory energy to your life. Often couples admit to heightened feelings of love and happiness while choosing to only kiss for a week or two. Taking time to truly drink from one another through playful kissing experiences can add dimension and energy to your marriage relationship.