When my husband Orion and I first got married, we only had three weeks off every year where we were not in school or working full time. Those weeks were the weeks of Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Years. We decided that one week would be our own week, and each of our families could have one other week. It was easier to let each family have Christmas and New Years and switch off, so Thanksgiving became ours! We decided to start a tradition of taking a big trip the week of Thanksgiving every year.

Initially, I was a little hesitant. Thanksgiving has always been my favorite holiday. I love the yummy food, being able to get together with people that I love, and really focus on gratitude. It’s such a magical holiday for me! And going on a trip meant no loved ones except for Orion, and it is certainly hard to put together that big classic Thanksgiving feast out of the small kitchen of an Airbnb.

So I decided to really cling to the concept of Friendsgiving. Each year we invite over some of our closest friends in the weeks before Thanksgiving and eat delicious food in good company. It has been the perfect way to get my Thanksgiving fix!

I have learned quite a few things about hosting Friendsgiving that I wanted to take the time to share with you. Friendsgiving doesn’t have to be perfect or a huge production. Rather, you can make minimal effort for maximum, meaningful results.

1) Decide on a Day

Sometimes, this might seem the most daunting part! People travel to spend time with their own families or are busy with other holiday activities. Finding a time where you and all of your friends can get together can be challenging.

But have you heard of When is Good? It is a website that makes it easy for everyone to select days and times they are available. Then, as the host, you can easily look through responses to decide on when would be best for everyone. I have used it for meetings and parties for years, without fail!

2) Divide the Responsibilities

Now comes dividing the responsibilities! If you’re extra organized, you could start a spreadsheet where everyone can sign up with what they are bringing. You could also do it through a group text or if you and your friends are already together, discuss it then!

As you do this, remember to take into account people’s financial situations. If you are a group of broke college students, asking a couple to bring a turkey or ham might be a bit more of a financial burden than rolls or a salad would be. You could even take pressure like that off completely and do a “Sides & Pies” Thanksgiving where everyone just brings side dishes like potatoes, rolls, salad, stuffing, etc. and pies! Friendsgiving does not have to be like the traditional Thanksgiving dinner you may have had growing up. Adjust it to the needs of your friend group!

3) Activities

Some people simply want to focus on the food, while others might be looking to add an extra level of enjoyment. If that is you, be sure to plan an activity or too for your Friendsgiving. Some of my favorite ideas are:

• Have stationery available so that each of your friends can write gratitude notes for each other. You could write one to everyone or draw numbers from a hat. Lots of possibilities!
• Make it a game night. Have everyone bring their favorite games and let the fun begin!
• Okay, what about a turkey pinata?!

There are so many other options for activities. And the best part is you get to decide what activities you want and what traditions you want to start. Have fun with it!

4) Plan Ahead to Ensure No Stress

If you have read any of my blog posts about hosting parties, there will always be at least one heading similar to this one. There is nothing worse than having guests show up and things are not up to your own expectations. Maybe you didn’t have time to clean your bathroom (if that’s something you care about), or dinner hasn’t even made its way into the oven yet!

It is crucial to think BEFORE the event about what things matter to you when it comes to hosting and then plan for them. I always make a timetable planning from the time my guests arrive, backwards into when I need to start cooking. For example, if I have guests coming at 7 and I know my dish will need 30 minutes in the oven, I will plan to have it in the oven by 6:30. Then, I know mixing the ingredients will take another 20 minutes, so I should start on that by 6:10. If I have a side salad, that will take around 10 minutes of prep, but I could do that earlier in the afternoon so I’m not stressing about it during the hour my guests arrive. Little things like this keep stress low and make hosting enjoyable!

It’s also important to talk with those you live with to see what things they value. Maybe you don’t care about having the floor vacuumed for guests, but your roommate might! Make sure to communicate expectations so that it is a pleasant experience all around!

5) Don’t Forget to Take a Picture

At the end of the day, the memories that you make are the most important part. Be sure to set a time to capture that memory through a photo or video. Whether it be right before dinner or when everyone goes home, catching that memory is something you will all be able to look back on for years to come!

I hope this blog post has been helpful in planning your Friendsgiving celebrations! If you do choose to have Friendsgiving, I would love to see it! Tag either Tammy at @tammy_hill_lmft or me at @thealmosttherapist in your Instagram posts and stories so we can see the memories you are making! And as always, if you have anything you would add to this post, I would love to hear about it! Be sure to include it in a comment below. Happy Thanksgiving!