So here’s the thing. I have never been pregnant and never had a baby. And you may be wondering, “How are you even qualified to write this post?” And frankly, I’m not. But I have several friends who do have children that were gracious enough to share with me what was helpful or what they wish others did when they brought their new baby home. So really, this post should be ultra helpful because it comes from multiple perspectives and not just one. Let’s get into it!

Meals

I think the first place everyone’s mind goes to is bringing meals. This is a great thing to do, but there are many things to consider to truly make things easier for your new momma friend.

Dinner is great, but don’t forget about other meals! Breakfast or lunch are also a great help to new parents.

When you bring food over, do so in a disposable container. This saves the new parents from needing to wash dishes or worry about returning them back to you. If you really want to go the extra mile, even grab some paper plates and plastic silverware to save them from having to wash their own dishes for that meal.

Even if you’ve known them forever, still be sure to ask about any foods that you should avoid. Maybe the baby has some sort of intolerance you aren’t aware of!

Taking things a step further, a few of my friends emphasized how much they love just being brought an extra freezer meal to use when they need it. Along with this, DoorDash gift cards also make a great gift for a meal on an extra difficult day.

Chores

The second biggest topic I heard about from friends was chores. With diapers and dirty bottles everywhere, keeping a clean house gets difficult – especially when running on little sleep.

Offer to clean your friend’s house or even just do the dishes or the laundry. Certainly make sure to have their approval before doing so, because some people might feel a little awkward having someone else clean their house. Another good option is hiring a cleaner for a day for them. Having a clean house can make a big difference with mental sanity!

You can also ask your friend if you can run to the store for them to pick something up, or even grab their Walmart pick-up order.

Chatting

Check in with your friends who are new parents! One of my friends shared she had a pretty tough birth experience, and a friend coming over to listen and share her similar experiences made a world of difference. So call your friends, take time to truly listen, and be empathetic. (I highly recommend watching this video to make sure you really know what it means to be empathetic).

Also check in with your friends as to how they want to visit with you. Some moms just want a phone call or a text – they don’t want you to see them when they feel terrible and their house is a mess. Others want you to come over to chat just to have some in person social connection. Just check in with them to see their preference!

Focus on Mom

While a newborn baby fresh from heaven is just about the cutest thing in the world, make sure you keep your focus on its mother who just endured a lot to bring it into this world. So don’t just come visit to hold baby, come to work! Help out with chores, hold baby so mom can shower or sleep. Babysit the older kids so that mom can have a bit of a break.

In your chats, make sure you ask about mom and not just the baby.

But most importantly, do not give unsolicited advice. This is not the time to impart your “parenting wisdom”. Just listen and go back to that empathy video I mentioned before. Keep the focus on mom and making sure she feels heard and validated.

Bonus

Okay, you want to go above and beyond for this new momma friend of yours? Here are some tips.

They may be spending a lot more time watching Netflix or listening to audiobooks in the middle of the night while they nurse. Get them a new TV or book subscription or maybe even just a gift card to make sure they get something they will use!

You want to grab them a gift? Be sure to use the registry! That way you know what they are actually in need of.

Bring some toys or activities for any older children they might have. Anything to keep them busy and out of mom’s hair to give her a break will be very welcome!

Throw together some little party favor bags of treats that the new mom can hand out as thank yous. A lot of people step in to help with the birth of a new little one, and it can be overwhelming to coordinate a bunch of thank you cards/gifts. Bringing party favor bags for mom to hand out makes her life a whole lot easier!

I hope this post was as helpful for you as it was for me. I feel so much more prepared now the next time a friend of mine has a baby. Do you have more tips you would add to this list? Throw them in the comments section!