Since I was little, I have LOVED the Bible story of the woman with a blood disease. I admire her strength to keep going when all else seemed lost and her faith to be healed when all odds were stacked against her. 

“25. And a certain women, which had an issue of blood twelve years, 

“26. And had suffered many things of many physicians, and had spent all that she had, and was nothing bettered, but rather grew worse,” (Mark 5: 25-26)

I love the phrase, “she had spent all that she had.”

I think this not only refers to spending all she had monetary wise but also physically, mentally, and emotionally. She had given all she had to try and find a cure and to simply survive through twelve years of endless pain, exhaustion, and experience. Living with a chronic illness takes everything you have. There is uncertainty around every corner. I believe this woman’s story was included in the Bible to teach every individual who struggles with pain that their suffering will one day be healed by the atoning and loving power of the Savior. 

I, like many people, have struggled with a chronic illness. And I, like this woman, in many ways, have given all I have– spent all I have– to try and find a cure. 

Pain, however, isn’t the point. My illness doesn’t define me, just like it didn’t define her, and does not define any of you. My point is I understand the utter exhaustion and defeat that comes from going to doctor after doctor who says yet again the defeating words of “I can’t help you, I don’t know what is wrong.” Or going through day after day of uncertainty, not knowing whether you will be able to function on a normal human level because of the illness you are struggling with. 

Not only was this woman probably told time and time again that she was a hopeless cause, but she was probably told that she was broken– unable to be fixed. Unable to be cleansed or made whole again. But that didn’t stop her from trying.

She spent all she had. She gave it her all– her time, efforts, energy, money- Her physical, mental, and emotional strength, and it availed her nothing.

In fact, not only did it avail her nothing, “but [her health] rather grew worse,” (Mark 5:26). She “had spent all her living upon physicians” and “neither could be healed of any,” (Luke 8:43)

But “When she had heard of Jesus” she “came in the press behind, and touched his garment.” (Mark 5:27)

“For she said, If I may touch but his clothes, I shall be whole.” (Mark 5:28)

And guess what? She was! For the first time in twelve years, she was whole. 

I wish more than anything I could know her whole story. I wish I could’ve seen the life she lived up until this blood disease struck, how this illness impacted her, and more than anything, I wish to see that moment when “she felt in her body that she was healed of that plague” (Mark 5:29). I wish to see that moment when she felt Christ’s virtue enter her, and heal her. 

“And Jesus said, Somebody hath touched me: for I perceive that virtue is gone out of me.” (Luke 8:46) 

“And he said unto her, Daughter, thy faith hath made thee whole; go in peace, and be whole of thy plague” (Mark 5:34). 

Like this woman of extraordinary faith, we too can be healed of our blood diseases, whether they are literal blood diseases or not. If we spend all our lives seeking to reach out and touch the Savior’s garment, we will find this peace we seek. 

Living with a chronic illness is hard. There are moments of utter disappointment, discouragement, confusion, and despair. But like the example this woman set, we can all have faith to keep going because there is a reason behind our momentary pain. And our pain is truly only momentarily. 

“7. My son, peace be unto thy soul; thine adversity and thine afflictions shall be but a small moment;

“8. And then, if thou endure it well, God shall exalt thee on high; thou shalt triumph over all thy foes.” (D&C 121:7-8)

Life is hard, but it was meant to be. It is uncomfortable, but it stretches us to become better. Like the woman with the blood disease, we are here on earth to endure our “twelve-year period” of pain and afflictions, but once that period is over, we shall be exalted and blessed beyond belief. I know that as we hold onto faith, reaching to find the Savior’s garment, we will find healing in His time and His way.