When someone specifically requested this blog post, I literally JUMPED at the opportunity to write it. Asking out a stranger is one of the greatest adrenaline rushes, but the added bonus is you’re not sure if you’ll see them again anyways. So it’s really low risk with a potentially high reward!

I also particularly love the idea of asking out strangers because it is how my parents met! The first time my parents ever saw each other, my Mom walked up to my Dad and asked, “You want a kiss?” He was stunned! But before he could reply, my Mom handed him a Hershey’s kiss and walked away. He quickly found out who she was and asked her out! The rest is history.

One of my favorite stories to tell about my own dating experiences was when I was working in the library at BYU. We had to attend a meeting with HR where they talked about various aspects of the library and our own wellbeing. One student employee got up to talk about chasing goals and dreams. He handed out notecards and asked us all to write down one thing we wanted to happen and hold onto it! Well, I thought this particular student was pretty cute, so I wrote down my number. After the meeting I went up to him and thanked him for his great presentation. I told him what I really wanted was to get to know him better. I handed him my number and walked away. After several long days (and me thinking he just wasn’t interested), he finally texted me. We texted off and on again for a week or so and I actually ended up meeting my current husband in that time frame – so it didn’t work out. But it still makes for a great story to tell!

When it comes to asking out strangers, there are a few things to keep in mind:

Being flirty is fun!

You certainly could walk up to someone and say, “Hey, would you like to go out with me?” But it’s more fun to write your number on a napkin, walk by them and say, “I think you dropped something”, hand it to them, wink, and walk away. It also leaves quite the impression.

Conversation can be a good lead-in.

Maybe you are standing in line at Chick-fil-a and think the girl in front of you is pretty cute. You could do something bold and flirty, or you could just make conversation. Ask how her day is going or what she likes to order. If she continues the conversation, that’s probably a good sign that you could ask her for her number! Having a little conversation first can be helpful to know how receptive they are to you and if taking a chance could be worth the risk!

The ring check is REAL.

As silly as it sounds, the “ring check” can be quite helpful in determining if they are in a committed relationship. If you do have the chance to start a conversation beforehand, slipping in a question or comment about their boyfriend/girlfriend can be really helpful as well. If you do ask someone out and find out that they are already dating someone, just shake it off and be respectful. There is not much worse than having someone ask you out and continue to be persistent when you’ve already told them you’re committed to someone else.

Remember to be safe!

Make sure to create an environment that feels both safe for you and them on your date. Asking them if you can make them dinner at your place is much more risky than asking if they want to meet up for ice cream in a public place. It also may be a good idea to make your first date a gathering with multiple friends rather than just the two of you. Whatever you choose to do, be thoughtful. And know that if you asked them, “Does that sound like a safe plan to you?” or “Is there anything else we could do to make you feel more safe?”, they would probably be more grateful than weirded out.

Practice Makes Perfect

Talking to a stranger or asking them out can be terrifying the first few times! It takes some real social courage to do something like that. So if you feel anxious or scared, recognize that that is normal and it is totally okay! But with most things in life, the more that you do it, the more comfortable you feel. You will certainly face some rejection, but you may also experience some real success! You won’t know how it will go unless you try!

I hope that you find the courage to ask at least one stranger out this week. Don’t even think of it as trying to find a significant other. Think of it as making a new friend. Because really that’s what dating is all about – making new friends.