I always read the story of the ten lepers and heard about the one that came back to thank Christ for healing him and thought, “are you kidding me?” The other nine lepers really couldn’t even bother to turn around and yell a quick “thanks” on their way out? But then I did a little bit of deeper digging into my own life, and thought, “how many times have I prayed for something for days or months or years and then chalked it up to luck when it actually happened and carried on with my day with a skip in my step and never thought to say a prayer of thanks?”

My marriage is a perfect example of this. Since I was little, I dreamed of the days when I would be able to have a husband and a family. My whole life I have dreamt up the perfect colors and decorations and dress for my wedding, hoping and praying that I would find a man that fit my long list of “wants” in a husband.

Fast forward a few years and I have him. I found my prince charming, my sweet husband that fits every single thing on my list and a million more that I didn’t even think to ask for. He is selfless, loving, hard working, athletic, and pretty dang cute, I might add. One would think I cry tears of joy every day as I thank my Heavenly Father for giving me the one thing I have asked for my entire 22 years of living. And some days I do tear up just thinking about how grateful I am for my angel husband, like when I come home to him after a long stressful day, or he brings home my favorite drink because he knew I needed something to get me through my homework. But the reality is, most days instead I can still find plenty of other things to complain about; There is so much more laundry to do for two. Working 2 jobs and going to school full-time is exhausting. The other day, I was already late to class and ripped my pants on the way out the door (true story, and I was not saying prayers of thanks that day, believe me). And guess what? You will always be able to find something you wish was better. Always. Trust me, I am the expert at picking them out of a perfectly good day. But when I look back on these things, how little are they?

Yes, of course it is okay to break down and be frustrated, but something I have found lately is if I can just take a step back and remember all the beautiful, good, wonderful, actually IMPORTANT things in my life, I realize there is so much to be grateful for. I am so grateful that my worries now are not how many more breakups will I have to go through before finding the love of my life, but instead I worry about having a pair of clean pants because I forgot to switch the washer over, or not knowing if I will be able to get enough sleep after working a full 8-hour day and taking a midterm until midnight. I am grateful for the worries I have now. Soon I will graduate to new worries that will be twice as hard, with children, mortgages, sickness, and so many new challenges that could come from the next stage of life. And I am sure I will look back and long for the days when I worried about clean clothes and taking tests.

But what about when I am dead center in the middle of a crisis, when I really don’t know where my next meal is coming from? How on earth can I be grateful then? This may go against everything I have said so far, but I have a bit of an unpopular opinion on this: I don’t think we have to be, at least not exactly in the moment. I think often about the story of Job from the bible. There is a verse that says “After this opened Job his mouth, and cursed his day”(Job 3:1). I think we brush over Job’s reaction in chapter three too often, and only focus on the first chapter where he praises God after some of his trials. Job’s house burned down, his entire family died, and he had boils covering his entire body. And then what did he do in chapter 3 when he couldn’t take any more? He knelt down, and cried to God and wished he had never been born (which seems to me like a perfectly normal reaction). Yet Job is STILL one of the most incredible people in the bible, and is called “perfect” and “upright” by God. I don’t think our loving Father in Heaven expects us to pretend everything is sunshine and rainbows, and He is okay if we need to tell Him about our bad day, as long as we don’t abandon Him. He wants to hear from us, no matter what.

So now when I am frustrated, I know I can vent to Him, and He will mourn with me. But at the same time, I know how important it is to count my blessings and thank Him for all the amazing blessings I do have regardless of my circumstances. The most important thing is to remember Him in all things. In the bad, the good, and everything in between. In a world where it can sometimes seem like everything is going wrong, it’s important to recognize God’s hand in all things.

Our Heavenly Father is there, waiting with His hand outstretched to help us through all of our trials, and that is something we can ALWAYS be thankful for.