By Tammy Hill
Months prior to my husband’s unexpected death, I had an insatiable appetite for the scriptures. I read and studied and memorized late into the night, truly feasting on the words of Christ. Often in my daily exercise of jogging and walking, I would mentally recite passages that I had memorized. This process was so spiritually exhilarating to me, like nothing I had ever experienced! After my husband, Mark, died, I clearly realized that Heavenly Father had prepared me in many ways for his death, one of them being my enhanced craving for knowledge from the scriptures. Frequently passages that I had memorized would flood my mind in the instant that I needed certain understanding or comfort. How eternally grateful I feel for God’s love towards me in my spiritual training.
As a single, widowed mother of four children, I daily anticipated my evenings once the children were in bed. I savored the quiet time for study, prayer and respite from responsibility. My custom was to study the scriptures, read and ponder an Ensign article, pray and go to bed. I had found in the four years since my husband’s death that filling my spirit with good things brought peace to my soul. I particularly needed comfort at night, as I dreaded going to bed alone. On the evening of April 11, 2006, I read an Ensign article entitled, “The Proclamation: a Guide, a Comfort, and an Inspiration” written by a BYU professor named E. Jeffrey Hill. The article was well-written and described the author’s spiritual guidance as a result of his memorizing The Family: A Proclamation to the World, particularly surrounding his late wife’s battle with cancer.
On this particular evening, after reading the article, I found myself feeling overwhelmingly grateful to God for His kindness to His children. I knew that the feelings of direction and comfort which the article’s author had received were similar to those I had also received. I knelt in prayer and sincerely expressed gratitude to God for His goodness. Twice in the night I was awakened with the distinct impression that I needed to write a comment to the Ensign to thank them for publishing such an insightful article. Both times I brushed aside the impression, rationalizing that I was not the type of person to write editorial comments. The next morning I continued to have the thought come that I should write a comment. I continued to ignore the prompting until it became an urgent feeling. Knowing that I would have no peace until I wrote to the Ensign, I quickly e-mailed a four sentence comment, expressing my gratitude for the article I had read. (To my surprise this comment was later published in the June 2006 issue of the
Ensign.) Once I sent the e-mail, I felt immediate peace. I went on with my day, not thinking much about the article or my e-mail correspondence. A few days later, when checking my e-mails, I was completely astounded to find an e-mail from the author to the Ensign article, E. Jeffrey Hill. He had written to thank me for my comment, which had been forwarded to him by an editor at the Ensign.
Professor Hill and I began an e-mail correspondence that was very friendly. Within a week, he asked for my phone number and we began visiting in the evenings. His voice seemed familiar to me. We shared life experiences and discussed parenting strategies, we commiserated about the difficulties of being single; we became very good friends. We began dating April 29, 2006. Our friendship continued to grow and romantic feelings began to blossom. As time progressed we both felt strongly the influence of our late spouses in our new relationship, particularly when visiting the Nauvoo Temple in August, where Jeff proposed. We were married for time in the Bountiful Temple on October 6, 2006, just six months after receiving my April 2006 issue of the Ensign.
Throughout my adult life I have spent countless hours reading and re-reading various Ensign messages that have blessed me with wisdom and insight. Never would I have dared guess the beautiful blessings of love and marriage and mothering additional children that would come to me as a result of reading the April 2006 issue! Many times in my life I have felt the influence of God; perhaps most profoundly in the meeting and courtship of my new husband, Jeff Hill. As sincerely as I know my testimony of the gospel’s truthfulness, I know that Jeff and I are meant to be married and blending our family of twelve children. I am ever grateful for this assurance. I know that as we place our complete trust in God, He will guide us in the paths that will allow us to become most like Him. I am grateful for the Church magazines, for the spiritual lessons learned from reading them, and for personal revelation that richly blesses and guides us in our individual journeys.
