“All men and women are in the similitude of the universal Father and Mother and are literally the sons and daughters of deity.” Joseph F. Smith 1909

One evening in the fall of 1996, I returned home from the hospital having had another dilation and curettage (D&C) after losing my third baby in five years. Bravely I tried to resign myself to be happy and content with the two beautiful daughters my husband and I had been blessed with. Yet, I felt a constant sense there was one more child for us. Many doubts and negative thoughts ran through my mind during this period of time.

“I must not understand how to receive inspiration from God.”

“The spirit of my unborn child must not want to come to our family.”

And the most destructive of all,

“God is withholding this blessing because He doesn’t trust me with anymore children!”

One particularly discouraging day after reading a conference talk about how Heavenly Father knows every burden and trial we will have to endure, I found myself saying right out loud,

“How can Heavenly Father really understand what I’m going through? He is a man and has never gone through this!”

My sharpness shocked me!  Did those blasphemous words really come out of my mouth?  I felt guilty about my thoughts and unworthy to pray.

A few days later a friend and her husband came to see me and bring a meal. We visited for a while, then as they prepared to leave, they asked if I would like a blessing? I don’t recall everything that was said in that blessing, but a powerful promise was given that changed my life.

“Rest assured your Heavenly Parents are aware of you and your Heavenly Mother understands what you are going through.”

Immediately I knew this was exactly what I needed to hear and the spirit witnessed to me,

“I have a Heavenly Mother and I am created in her image.  She understands everything I will ever go through!”

The veil thinned that day and my mind expanded.  “Could it be,” I pondered, “that throughout the course of my many life experiences; (as a confused nine year old girl, a discouraged teenage young woman, a homesick sister missionary, and a sometimes overwhelmed wife and mother) that the strength, inspiration and comfort came from both of my Heavenly Parents?” Absolutely!  

The fact that we do not pray to Mother in Heaven in no way discredits Her position. Just as adoring and appreciating Her is in no way diminishing the love and appreciation I feel for my Father in Heaven.

 As I have studied and prayed, I can only conclude that God consists of an exalted man and an exalted woman.

“If I believe anything that God has ever said about Himself then I must believe that deity consists of man and woman.” – Elder Erastus Snow

“God is our Eternal Father; we have also an Eternal Mother. There is no such thing as a father without a mother, nor can there be children without parents. We were born as the spirit children of Celestial Parents long before the foundations of this world were laid.” – President Brigham Young

Doctrine and Covenants section 132: …if a man marry a wife by my word, which is my law, and by the new and everlasting covenant, and it is sealed unto them by the Holy Spirit of promise…and they abide in my covenant…they shall pass by the angels and the gods which are set there to their exaltation and glory in all things…Then shall they be gods because they have all power and the angels are subject unto them.”

“We, the human family are literally the sons and daughters of Divine Parents, the literal progeny of God our Eternal Father, and of God our Eternal Mother.”  Elder James E. Talmage

We have learned many things about God our Eternal  Mother, but there is still so much to know.  Questions such as:

-Why don’t we hear more about Mother in Heaven from our current leaders?  

-Does She feel marginalized and sad that we don’t give her more acknowledgement? 

-Am I alone in my yearning for more understanding of the Divine Feminine whose image I know am created in?

President Russell M. Nelson has stated that the restoration has only begun and that it is our responsibility to receive revelation and guidance for our lives.  This leads me to believe that as we long to know more of our glorious Mother in Heaven, ancient knowledge will be returned and restored to us. 

Great peace comes to me when I pray daily, always addressing God the Father, yet visualizing both of my Heavenly Parents listening to me as I kneel before Them and pour out my heart. These are among the most safe and insightful conversations imaginable.

I must not let feelings of doubt, inferiority or inequality discourage me. Great hope and encouragement come when I remember who I am and where I came from. Heavenly Mother is a goddess and a priestess.  She is a perfect, glorified being and I am Her apprentice.  My greatest aspiration is to become like Her someday.

“Sisters, I testify that when you stand in front of your Heavenly Mother in the royal courts on high and look into Her eyes and behold Her, any questions you ever had about the role of women in the kingdom will evaporate because at that moment you will see standing directly in front of you, your divine nature and destiny.” Elder Glenn L. Pace

I was correct in sensing there was one more child to join our family.  In 1999 in a very miraculous way, I gave birth to our youngest daughter.  My earthly parents were serving a mission in the Philippines at the time and were not able to be with me, but I felt the presence of my Heavenly Parents and especially my Mother in Heaven.

I know my Heavenly Mother lives. What comfort this sweet sentence gives.