I still remember downloading Tinder for the first time. I was fresh out of high school and had just moved into my college dorm. I wanted a way to meet other people on campus and go on lots of dates! And that’s exactly what I did! Things became a lot better when Mutual came out after my mission and I knew that most everyone I swiped on had similar standards to me.

Dating apps can be fun! They provide the opportunity to get to know a lot of people that you wouldn’t meet otherwise. If you aren’t committed to anyone, I would highly recommend downloading one and trying it out. I just advise you keep these things in mind when using dating apps:

BE SAFE!

One of the first dates I went on after downloading Tinder was with a guy we will call Josh. Josh and I matched and chatted a little bit for a day and then he asked if I wanted to hang out! He wanted to pick me up from my apartment at midnight and drive up in the mountains with me to chat for a bit.

And I said yes.

🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩

If I could go back in time and slap 18-year old Hailey’s face, I totally would. He wanted to meet late late at night. Just the two of us. In the middle of nowhere. In a situation I wouldn’t be able to get out of easily. Red flags were everywhere but I ignored them.

I don’t think luck even begins to cover the fact that absolutely nothing happened to me that night. We literally just drove up in the mountains and chatted. I truly dodged a bullet.

So when it comes to meeting up with those you match with on dating apps, be smart. Meet up in public places and have your own transportation so that you can get yourself home if things go south. Tell people where you are at and when you expect to be home and let them know if that plan changes. It might even be smart to have a “safe word” with friends or family so if you use it in a text, they can come get you or intervene if necessary. It’s better to be safe than sorry!

Put Some Thought Into Your Profile

Your profile is really important when it comes to dating apps! It is all the person has to make judgements and decide if they would like to get to know you better.

Pick pictures that show you in different environments. Do you like to hike? Find a picture of you on a hike! Do you love your dog? Use a picture of you and your dog! Try to showcase different aspects of yourself through the pictures your choose. But remember, the pictures you choose will say a lot about you. Also remember that whatever pictures you choose, the first one should be the best one! Sometimes, that is all people will see.

When it comes to your bio, be sincere! No need to lie about your height or say you like going to the gym when you really don’t. Don’t leave it empty either. I am sure there are many things about you that are much more telling of who you are than a picture would imply.

Take Your Time in Swiping

My husband and I met in our singles ward. He had seen me and thought I was cute and wanted to ask me out. Before doing so, however, he found my profile on Mutual. He asked his roommates if he should just ask me out, or swipe up and wait for us to match. He decided to swipe up, but eventually we ended up meeting and he asked me out on his own. His favorite part of this whole story is that I actually swiped down on him. 😅 I was what I considered a “speed-swiper”, and really just glanced at the first picture and basic stats before making a decision and moving on. Once we had gone out a few times he asked if I had seen his profile on Mutual. I honestly didn’t remember seeing it, but I had to have seen it as I had gone through all of the profiles on Mutual in my area! I asked if I could see his profile and after seeing the first picture, I knew it was definitely not something I would have swiped up on. 😂 But as I looked through other pictures he had chosen, I was pretty bummed! Because if I had taken a minute to look through his whole profile, I definitely would have swiped up!

Moral of the story, be thoughtful in your swiping! You never know if you will quite literally swipe down on your future husband.

I would challenge you to look at more than just the first picture. Read their bio, see their interests. Choose to look at dating apps not necessarily as a place to find a significant other, but instead as an opportunity to make new friends!

Always Be Kind & Respectful

In dating apps, ghosting runs rampant. You match with someone, reach out with a message, and get absolutely no response. It can be really frustrating!

If someone reaches out to you, be kind enough to respond back! You did swipe up on them after all! If you didn’t really mean it, then why swipe up? You just wanted a confidence boost? If so, maybe it’s time to reconsider if dating apps are really helping you live your why.

And a reminder that the point of dating apps really is to date. Don’t go on a date with someone just because you are expecting a NCMO. That isn’t very respectful to them (or to yourself). If that’s what you are really looking for, make that clear so that no one wastes their time on…ahem… oh sorry… so that others understand your expectations. 🙃

Hopefully this post has been helpful in assessing how you use dating apps, and maybe even how you can use them better. As always, if you have anything you would add, please leave it in the comments below!