Growing up as a wee 12 year old, I didn’t know what made me ME. I mean, I worked with horses, sang, played polly pockets, didn’t even know what a crush meant and liked cartoon Barbie movies still, but some of my friends found that a little bit cheesy and told me so, so I tried to like what they did. I began watching some action movies with them. I allowed a few more swear words into the songs I listened too. I even spent all day excursions hanging out with a specific friend, scrolling through Google+ together with them to find memes (I know, Google+ is kinda old school, but whatever), not even taking a chance to really connect with them on a deep level. I lived for peer pressure and positive affirmations from those around me. And you wanna know something? I didn’t feel fulfilled. In fact, I felt drained, wondering how I could find less joy when I had the chance to please others and show interest in their hobbies by participating in them even when I didn’t want to deep down.

Okay, okay, YES. It’s SO important to show love and compassion for those who have the hobbies that they love, even if they may differ from yours. I found a quote from Mr. Roger that I love which said: “Could we, without relentlessly criticizing, let people have their pumpkin spice, avocado toast, and their fandoms, and their D&D, and their too-early-Halloween decorations, and whatever little harmless things in which they’ve managed to find a tiny shriveled flower of joy?” Without critique, I showed my friends that I “loved” them and “accepted” them by dropping my hobbies to participate in theirs. But, I didn’t realize as a young tween that it’s OKAY to look different, and hobbies don’t serve the purpose to compare and to demean. They serve the purpose of discovery, growth, peace, individual rejuvenation and the finding of one’s true self. I came to realize that if I didn’t feel edified by another person’s interests and hobbies, I did NOT have to participate, but I still had the capacity and opportunity to love the person, no matter what their hobbies looked like. Even more importantly, I came to understand that MY hobbies do not depend on what other people think about them. No, the 14 year old guy friend that I looked up to did NOT like the Barbie movies I watched, but I didn’t participate in my hobbies for him, I participated in them for ME and for MY physical, mental and even spiritual recharge.

Flash forward to 2021. I am 20 years old and go to BYU Provo studying Commercial Music. I am still single, and it seems that every guy I like ends up getting engaged the very next month, and then the guys who end up reaching out to me don’t edify me in the ways that I would like for an eternal relationship. This should bother me more than it does, but the realizations that I came to (shared in the previous paragraph) helped me to cope with these situations. I don’t live for boys or for relationships! I live for God who helps me to gain self confidence, and through my self confidence I can then move on to help others build theirs. I love the scripture in 1 Timothy 4:12, which reads: “Let no man despise thy youth, but be thou an example of the believers; in word, in conversation, in charity, in spirit, in faith, in purity.”

Now, you’re probably asking, how do hobbies help me to find my own true self and feel the peace that I would like to feel so that I can face the world? What are my hobbies? Well, I would return that question with a question. What brings YOU joy? What do YOU love doing to relax? What hobbies do you find the most satisfaction in?? It’s within these hobbies that you can refill your cup before helping others fill theirs. You can’t help another person put their life jacket on before your own life jacket rests securely on your shoulders. Similarly, we help others find ourselves as they watch our example, “in word, in conversation, in charity, in spirit, in faith, in purity.” God made us all differently. You can’t find peace in Him if the world is your source of satisfaction. In this case, what are my hobbies? My most favorite hobbies help me to feel the Spirit. Here are a few listed below:

• Painting
• Horseback Riding/Training
• Playing instruments
• Singing
• Performing
• Songwriting
• Spending quality time with loved ones
• Workout
• Hike and Backpack

Each of these hobbies help me to discover my true self. For example, I’ve learned so many of what could become my parenting strengths and weaknesses through training my own horses. I have come to recognize my perspective of the world through painting. I know what my body has the capability to do when I workout. Each of these hobbies that I’ve developed over the years have helped me to discover what I have to offer the world and how I can find the peace and rejuvenation I need to keep going and keep serving.

You may be reading this and not know what your favorite hobbies are at the moment. Guess what? That is OK. To conclude, I am going to take you through an exercise to help you discover one or two hobbies that you have uniquely that can bring you the peace you need to continue on to do great things in life.

To start, grab a paper and a pen, and I want you to write down TWO-FIVE things that you do when you feel stressed? (ex: scroll on social media, Netflix, read, workout, go hiking etc…) You may not enjoy doing each of these, but just write them down anyways. Now, write down TWO emotions that you feel when you participate in each of these hobbies (ex: social media: I feel boredom and laziness, read: I feel enlightened and entertained, hiking: I feel energized and excited). Now out of this list, which hobbies do you enjoy most? Out of the list I wrote in the examples, I definitely find more positive emotions that stem from reading or hiking versus Netflix or social media, but that might not be the same for you. Now that you know how these hobbies make you feel, go experiment/play with them and see how they help you to develop peace, find your true self, and ultimately help you draw closer to the Savior.

I KNOW that we all have passions and hobbies that we enjoy for a reason. God did not send us down here to fail. Yes, He knew that we would go through hard experiences, and because He loves us so much, He has blessed us with individual daily pleasures and joyful hobbies to participate in to help us to remember Him and to sharpen our saw so that we can go out and bless the world and further the work in His kingdom. I LOVE hobbies and find great gratitude that I have gained the ability to take away comparison and thrive in the area of life that God has given me to cultivate. I promise that as you develop your hobbies, you will find the same result, because it’s what has worked for me and for many others that I’ve come in contact with. Now get out there and enjoy your hobbies!